Normalizing your fears

In a world that can seem so precarious, it becomes almost natural for us to find ourselves in circumstances that seed and challenge our fears.

“Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.’
— Marie Curie

We each have our own journeys and paths to lead. We have had our own experiences right from pre-natal times that has helped us shape into the people we are today — both our passions and our fears. It’s a constant test that time puts us through, almost as if to check-in on how we’ve handled our lives and what still needs some work. We are magnanimously caught as “work-in-progress” puppets in life, where the fittest only survives.

Dealing with such thresholds of peer pressure, societal standards, our own identity issues, where we are to where we want to be, our ambitions, our desires and the whole hullaballoo of our being — is very daunting. We are bound to feel anxious, doubt our selves and not have time to heal from our fears.

As Marie Curie rightly said — we need to normalize our fears without having to blow them out of the park, in our minds.

These are few hat tips that have helped me personally deal with my most innermost fears and surpass them like a champ:

Tip 1

Do not magnify reality: We tend to glorify people and positions far too much than they deserve, more than half of the time. When we glorify the good aspects, the bad aspects tend to seem bigger than they already are. Our fears are like the mirror in our car that zooms in on objects strolling past. Firstly, we need to understand and accept that everyone is real and normal. As thought and spoken by the famous Marcus Aurelius — the only difference between a richer man than you is the extra riches he has; the only difference between a more beautiful woman and you is the extra beauty she has; and, in all reality — it makes no difference. Because the moment you start to compare, you will never end. Accepting you for you, along with accepting people for who they are will help you stay in reality. Most part of our fears live within us and not in the world outside. Learn to see, as it needs to be seen. Remove those magnifying glasses and get on with it!

Tip 2

Healthy reiterations and habits: The mind is a muscle and needs to be worked, that’s science. The mind needs reiterations and habits to help live at its potential best, if not, perform to attain goals at the levels you aspire. Feeding your mind with a healthy dose of positive iterations on a consistent basis will condition your mind to: firstly believe, and then secondly behave in the manner you want it to. If you don’t feed your stomach the enchilada you craved all week long, your tummy is going to lash out and make you frustrated. Similarly, you need to keep your mind busy with positive iterations and curated focused habit building that will condition your brain to accept and confront your fears head on. Make this reiteration a habit and you are set to conquer.

Tip 3

You control your life, it does not control you: Your mind is a part of YOUR body and YOU control it, it is never the other way around. Similarly, your life can take different directions but it’s the decisions you make that make your life, well — YOUR LIFE. Learn to claim this power and empower yourself. There is nothing in this world you cannot achieve and there are remarkable examples set by a plethora of successful people in the world. The greatest limitation to any obstacle, is you. Change that, and you will change your life.

The above 3 tips have largely helped me confront and face my fears and hopefully they do the same for you!